Monday, March 12, 2012


I thought that this was being updated by

I guess it isn't. I'll have to adjust that...

So sorry that all ten of you have been missing out all these years on my great thoughts an inspiring quotations!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010
By myself in a hotel again. Warning link NSFW.
Things are very different in Texas: my rental car came stocked with a loaded .45 and an open container of beer.
On a plane. Watching people trying to shove a 19th century steamer trunk into the overhead bin fills me with equal parts rage and pity.
Woke up sad and sick. But my true love was there for me: "Army of Darkness" was on! That's the TLC I needed! Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart.

Monday, January 25, 2010

I knew "You will die alone in a sea of your own mucus on the day after a Vikings loss" was a suspiciously specific fortune cookie.
Really sick. Anybody have any spare TLC? I'm willing to trade some snark and a Fantastic Four #239.
Sick and shivering. I feel like I got a scratch from my nuclear-powered blonde clone. (Fever dream or Superman 4 reference!? I'm not sure.)
Had my feelings hurt really bad in a text tonight. Damn you technology! If it were 1831, I could have at least taken revenge on the pigeon.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Etiquette: no matter how much teabagging you do with someone, it's NEVER appropriate to refer to their mouth as your "testicle receptacle".
New word: choolsy. Def: when a thing's equal parts cool and cheesy. Ex: That Slash solo in the desert in the November Rain video is choolsy!
I'm watching that British "Don't text while driving" PSA on my iPhone as I drive. I just want a funny story to tell when I get to heaven.
This episode of The Mickey Mouse Club is riddled with inaccuracies. For example: REAL "space rubber duckies" aren't that big. #badastronomy

Saturday, January 23, 2010

My wife came to the early show tonight and she looks gooooood. Don't get too excited though, I already saw the sweatpants in the car. Sigh.
Actual Meatloaf lyrics: "She used her body like a bandage/She used my body like a wound". Two words: poetry bitches!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Awake at 4:30 PM refreshed and ready to take on the world! Also, I need a nap.
30 minutes till my triumphant appearance on 610 WIP. If you're up and listening, comment here! Also ... WHY are you up and listening?!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Group of ten bald guys who ruined my show tonight: being dickheads won't bring your hair back.
I'll be on 610 WIP from 2 AM through 6 AM tonight. Listen at My fear? Jaymates + Online Streaming = Crashed Internet.